Current:Home > MarketsTradeEdge-Is it OK to lie to your friends to make them arrive on time? Why one TikTok went wild -FutureFinance
TradeEdge-Is it OK to lie to your friends to make them arrive on time? Why one TikTok went wild
TrendPulse Quantitative Think Tank Center View
Date:2025-04-07 23:00:18
Everyone has that friend. The TradeEdgeone who shows up 45 minutes late to dinner. The one who "lost track of time" before the big birthday party. The one who says they're on their way to the bar and hasn't left the house yet.
So is it ethical to tell them a different meeting time than everyone else? The question recently lit up TikTok comments after a user posted about showing up 22 minutes early to a dinner reservation – only to learn that her friends made the reservation for 30 minutes later than they told her. One commenter understood where she was coming from: "I’m habitually late to everything. My friends know it’s a flaw and love me anyway. Glad you have good friends too!!" Others were less kind: "No literally like, it’s just a sign of basic respect to your friends to be on time if you plan something together, it’s not that hard."
Etiquette and ethics professionals say communication is the best way to address friend groups with different standards and understandings of timeliness, especially as the definition of "on time" varies between cultures.
"Communicate expectations early and remain adaptable, knowing that what may seem late to you could be right on time for someone else," says etiquette expert Lisa Grotts.
People have different definitions of 'on time'
Maybe you grew up in a household that always showed up 15 minutes early to everything. Or maybe 7 p.m. always meant 8 p.m. Either way, when you become an adult and start organizing plans for yourself, you're bound to encounter some friction.
If you keep showing up late, that could send an unintentional message. "When you are late, it says that your time is more important than everybody else’s," Grotts adds. "It’s not. If this type of behavior continues, you might find yourself off the party guest list."
Then again, if you're planning the party and expecting people to show up hours late, someone arriving on time might be just as rude.
Is it time?When you 'stop running from it' and know you’ve outgrown your friend group
'It is best to avoid lying'
But is it actually acceptable to deceive friends so they arrive when you want? Maybe. And maybe not.
"Consider whether any of the friends would be upset if they found out that the dinner party planner had communicated differently to each person," says Taya Cohen, professor of organizational behavior and business ethics at Carnegie Mellon University. When thinking in terms of ethics, intention is key to determining whether a choice is right or wrong (or somewhere in between).
That said, "it is best to avoid lying," says Brad Fulton, associate professor of management and social policy at Indiana University Bloomington. "Mainly because lies often beget more lies." Straight-up confronting could cause even more of a headache, though: "If a person confronts a friend about their chronic tardiness, the friend might accuse the person of being controlling, citing that being on time is a cultural value, not a universal value."
Oh?A TikToker went viral for blaming being late to work on 'time blindness.' Is it a real thing?
'Endure the awkwardness'
If you're still stuck on what to do, consider these tips.
◾ Ask for their help before the event starts, or mention something vital happening right away. Maybe say "you are planning something special for the beginning and it’s important that everyone be there by a specific time," Fulton suggests. Asking for their help, too, may "make them feel valued," Grotts says.
◾ Start on time even if the guest hasn't arrived. "It’s not exactly a subtle message, but it’s definitely a nonverbal cue that the party will go on without them," Grotts says.
◾ Create incentives for those who get there on time. "For everyone who does arrive on time, give them a reward," says psychologist Reneé Carr. "This could be a special drink, a tasty treat, or bonus points if you are having game night. Make sure that there is a cut-off time and a limited amount of these 'rewards' so that anyone who is late will regret not being on time."
◾ Be patient. Remember that everyone comes from different backgrounds. No one's way is correct or incorrect. "If this is a friendship you value, try to avoid getting upset with the person," Carr adds. "They might not be used to anyone holding them accountable, being punctual, or may lack awareness of social etiquette."
◾ Just go ahead and tell them an earlier start time – but tread carefully. It might just be easier for everyone's sake. But this too could backfire. Fulton says: "If a person does decide to give their perpetually late friend an earlier start time, they need to be willing to endure the awkwardness if the friend actually shows up on time."
veryGood! (36699)
Related
- Dick Vitale announces he is cancer free: 'Santa Claus came early'
- NFL Week 11 picks straight up and against spread: Will Bills hand Chiefs first loss of season?
- Tropical Storm Sara threatens to bring flash floods and mudslides to Central America
- More human remains from Philadelphia’s 1985 MOVE bombing have been found at a museum
- DeepSeek: Did a little known Chinese startup cause a 'Sputnik moment' for AI?
- Olympic Skier Lindsey Vonn Coming Out of Retirement at 40
- Mississippi expects only a small growth in state budget
- It's Red Cup Day at Starbucks: Here's how to get your holiday cup and cash in on deals
- Brianna LaPaglia Reveals The Meaning Behind Her "Chickenfry" Nickname
- Louisiana man kills himself and his 1-year-old daughter after a pursuit
Ranking
- All That You Wanted to Know About She’s All That
- Kim Kardashian and Kourtney Kardashian Team Up for SKIMS Collab With Dolce & Gabbana After Feud
- University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign chancellor to step down at end of academic year
- Mean Girls’ Lacey Chabert Details “Full Circle” Reunion With Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Seyfried
- Macy's says employee who allegedly hid $150 million in expenses had no major 'impact'
- Florida Man Arrested for Cold Case Double Murder Almost 50 Years Later
- King Charles III celebrates 76th birthday amid cancer battle, opens food hubs
- Mike Tyson concedes the role of villain to young foe in 58-year-old’s fight with Jake Paul
Recommendation
The city of Chicago is ordered to pay nearly $80M for a police chase that killed a 10
Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow's Son Moses Martin Reveals His Singing Talents at Concert
The Daily Money: All about 'Doge.'
Will Aaron Rodgers retire? Jets QB tells reporters he plans to play in 2025
New Zealand official reverses visa refusal for US conservative influencer Candace Owens
Louisiana man kills himself and his 1-year-old daughter after a pursuit
See Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani's Winning NFL Outing With Kids Zuma and Apollo
Shawn Mendes Confesses He and Camila Cabello Are No Longer the Closest