Ethermac Exchange-Alexa PenaVega Reveals How “Insecurities” Took a Toll on Marriage While on DWTS with Husband Carlos

Alexa PenaVega wasn’t interested in dancing around drama.

The Ethermac ExchangeSpy Kids alum shared more insight into how she and her husband Carlos PenaVega navigated their experience competing alongside one another on Dancing With the Stars early on in their marriage. 

“We literally said, ‘We don't know how spouses do this show without doing it the way we did,’” Alexa, who wed the Big Time Rush member in 2014, reflected on the Nov. 3 episode of the Sex, Lies, and Spray Tans with Cheryl Burke podcast. “We fully understood the dynamics of the show but if Carlos was doing this and I was watching this girl dance with them all close and the rehearsals or whatever, it would be so hard.” 

“Carlos, at that season of his life, he was such a jealous man that even though he understood the dynamic, it was still hard for him,” she continued. “It is incredibly flirty. We had to set big boundaries right off the bat, which was super hard for everyone around us. It's like super flirty backstage and whatever.”

For the 36-year-old, who placed sixth in season 21 of the dance competition in 2015—her husband ultimately placed fourth—it was important for her to define her dynamic with partner Mark Ballas. And the same went for Carlos and his partner Witney Carson.

“I love Mark,” she emphasized. “We got along great, but if it was ever flirty, I'd just be like, ‘I don't do that.’ I was a little mean, but it was only to set good boundaries and we figured it out and we ended up having a really great partnership.”

But Alexa—who shares kids Ocean, 7, Kingston, 5, and Rio, 3, with Carlos—also recognized that those boundaries weren’t the easiest for others on the show.

“I know it was really rocky for everybody because when we went on the show, we said, ‘Look, we're a married couple,’” she recalled of their conversation. “‘You guys are our partners and we are so excited to team up with you, but that doesn't mean we ditch our marriage and this becomes our No. 1. Our marriage is still first.’” 

Despite trying to put parameters in place, the duo did face obstacles in their marriage during their time on the ABC competition show. 

“We were still learning so much,” the Sleepover actress said. “Carlos was so jealous and battling his insecurities. I felt like I had to be there for him, so I just felt beat down. He didn't do anything bad, but if you see your spouse not feeling good or feeling jealous, even though there was no reason he should have felt that back in the day, it took a toll on me.”

And part of that was Alexa feeling pulled in so many directions. As she recalled, “I just remember going home every night being so exhausted and being like ‘I can't be what Mark needs me to be. I can't be what Carlos needs to need me to be, Like I can't be what the producers want me to be.’”

Despite the drama, she is still grateful for the experience. 

"The show is so fun to watch, and it feels good,” she said. “I love the premise of it. It's just the behind-the-scenes can be tough, but it was as difficult as it was fun because there were really, really high highs.” 

While Alexa and Carlos shimmied off the dancefloor 12 seasons ago, keep reading to see who has dazzled with their routine this season on Dancing With the Stars.

The inspriation behind Inventing Anna traded her ankle bracelet for dancing shoes alongside partner Ezra Sosa. However, the fake heiress was eliminated during the season's Sept. 24 episode, with her saying that she learned "nothing" in her now-infamous, one-word farewell speech.

The Olympic rugby player is ready to ruck up the dance floor with pro Alan Bersten. 

The Disney Channel star will try to dance her way to the top with partner Brandon Armstrong. 

The model and her partner Gleb Savchenko were ready to strut along the ballroom, but took their final bow on Oct. 15.

All that mattered for the Family Matters alum and partner Emma Slater was taking home the Mirrorball Trophy. However, their journey was cut short during the second week of competition on Oct. 8.

The Dark Knight star was partnered with Britt Stewart. They were eliminated in the second week alongside Reginald and Emma.

The Bachelor alum has found his rose between thorns in partner Jenna Johnson. 

The alum of Beverly Hills, 90210 was oh so ready to dance alongside Pasha Pashkov. Unfortunately, the two last only one week and was cut from competition in a double elimination alongside Anna and Ezra.

The NFL pro and partner Witney Carson are sure to score a touchdown on the dance floor. 

The NBA star is hoping to stand head and shoulders above the competition with partner Daniella Karagach. 

The Olympian has his sights set on another medal—or should we say, Mirrorball Trophy—with partner Rylee Arnold. 

The Traitors alum was sure to weed out the competition with partner Val Chmerkovskiy, but ended up getting cut from the lineup Oct. 22.

The Bachelorette star and partner Sasha Farber will be in full bloom in the ballroom.